Straight From the Horse's Mouth...

Ladies, a few weeks ago, I posted about "The Game," a book which is the bible of male pick-up-artists. Well, today a male friend of mine indirectly confirmed that men do in fact employ well-rehearsed tactics when trying to pick-up and date women. Beware of this tactic ladies... as it came straight from the horse's mouth.

"When I first meet a woman, I go out of my way to seem incredibly open-minded and non-judgmental. That way, the women starts getting comfortable and starts revealing intimate details about her life without worrying that I'm going to judge her. If you show that you are in fact actually judgmental, women clam up. For example, I recently went out on a date and started telling the girl I was with how I think it is totally natural for girls to have feelings for other girls. Sure enough, she responded by telling me all about her lesbian fantasies."

I've definitely made the mistake of open-up way too quickly in the past. Although I like to be authentic at all times, there is something to be said about keeping your more controversial/or personal details to yourself until you actually get to know the person with whom you are talking. In other words, establish trust before you start sharing about yourself.

Otherwise, you may have a Mr. Ed (talking horse) sharing your secret fantasies all over town.

E-Nut's Date with Mr. E

So tonight I had a date with
Mr. E (Mr. Destin-e that is).

Thanks to everyone's feedback on my recent post about being too quick to judge on the small things, I have made an effort to stay open and see if there is anything there. Well, there definitely is... and I'm excited!!! Mr. E definitely has likings of things that I hate... but at the same time, we have a lot of similarities as well. The combo feels like it's good for me (if that makes any sense).

So to be honest with you all, I haven't dated anyone for almost 3 years now. I feel kinda like a divorced women trying to re-kindle love in my life again... and I'm not sure if I should make myself unavailable, show interest, a combo... or what I am supposed to do with myself. People always say that when you first start getting to know someone there are certain strategies/rules you need to follow. In Farsi, they say that a girl should 'hook' the guy.

Or the other option is to "Just be yourself!" But myself would call whenever & ask to hang out everyday. It's like when you get a new pair of shoes, you want to wear them all the time & keep picking outfits that will match the shoes.

Do be myself... or are there games that need to be played? If so, please tell me the game tactics... because I'm not good with games.

Waiting for the Phone to Ring...

So, it has almost been exactly one week since my date with Mr D./Mr. Kent. The date where we opened up, got to know each other, laughed, semi-flirted. The date for which I wore a super cute outfit, blow-dried my hair, and took time away from my very busy "it's the week before finals, holy shit, I should study!" schedule.

At the end of the night, I text him, "Thanks! I had fun." to which he replied, "Me too. See you soon."

And alas, a week has passed, and see you soon has come and gone.

Which leads me to my question:

When you go on a great date, why is it that sometimes the boy just never calls? In man language, does "see you soon" actually mean "don't call us, we'll call you?"

Drawing the line when it comes to finding Mr. Right?

You meet someone new. As you get to know each other you start to find out all kinds of different things about one another.

We all have our imaginary man that we want to be with & the thought of meeting him leaves us just a little wet. But chances are you won't meet someone will all those characteristics. So you have to compromise... but

When you are getting to know a guy, you start to find out where they like to shop, what they like to eat, read, do, drive, live, work, what they watch on T.V., then you learn about their past, what they were like as a teenager, what kinds of experiences they had, what college they went to, etc. etc.

Now, what if you find out (for example) that they eat at a restaurant you hate, they went to a college that you generally would talk shit about (if they didn't go there), as a teen they were the kind of person you would have NEVER looked twice at, they watch programs on T.V. you cannot stand... do you rule them out & stop talking to them or do you continue to leave yourself open to see if you guys will connect?

Where do you draw the line, is it ONLY about the 'connection' you feel with them, or do these random little facts matter?

The Introduction of Mr. Destin-E

So, last night I got to meet Peanut's new potential love interest: Mr. Destin-E. He is incredibly witty, intelligent, successful, and gracious. I liked him immediately. Anyone who is articulate and has an advanced grasp of the English language automatically gets moved into my preferred category of men. I mean what's hotter than impressive vocabulary use? (Ok, maybe this is just my fetish... but I digress).

Here is what makes the fact that Peanut has met and actually likes Mr. Destin-E so interesting. Just last week, Peanut was telling me that she thinks that she needs to meet a man that is more like me. We were talking about how in our friendship we really compliment each other since we are so different.

And last night, talking to Mr. Destin-E, I realized that all the reasons I approve of Mr. E for Peanut are somewhat narcissistic! He embodies all the characteristics that I appreciate about myself. In essence, he is (at least from what we know so far) exactly what Peanut asked for last week: a male version of me!

What makes this whole situation even more compelling is that when I met Mr. Destin-E, I realized that I had met him once before. A little over a month ago, I met Mr. Destin-E in the elevator at the parking lot at my school. He is an alumnus of my law school and was on campus to recruit law clerks for his firm. Our interaction in the elevator lasted all of five seconds. He asked me about the book I was carrying, and that was that. And yet, he left a lasting impression on me.

When I met him last night, everything came full circle. Which leads to my question of the day:

In a world of endless seemingly random encounters, is it possible that some encounters are actually kismet?

Dirty Laundry

So, assuming that things with Mr. Kent continue to a second date (and beyond I hope) we're inevitably going to get into discussions about our respective pasts. Who we've dated, for how long, why we broke up, how many people we've been with (my personal favorite). So, if and when these conversations come up, what is the best tactic? Complete honesty? Partial honesty? Complete fantasy?

When it comes to starting a new relationship, how much of your dirty laundry should you air out?

BEING OPEN Part 2: Can new toys be the way to meet new boys?

I was with a girl friend tonight... we were discussing ways in which you can 'open' yourself to meet new people. Yes, I do believe that it's a mental thing, however MEETING people can be quite difficult if you don't take action in the physical world (it's not all just mental). You need to go out, you need to look good more than just 1 day a week, & most importantly you need to flirt. This could be quite a difficult thing to do for some. Especially those who are a little more conservative.

So my girl friend & I are sitting at a coffee shop & it all of a sudden dawns on me! She needs to start masturbating... reasons:

1. It's good to have sex on your mind & give off a sexual vibe when you are around guys, so they don't just think of you as a 'cool' friend to have

2. When you orgasm, it's like sleeping... it's needed & keeps you looking fresh & well rested (when you are well rested you are prettier)

3. A girl needs to have a smile on her face, even if it means it was put there by her own lonesome self

4. It will loosen you up a little & help you flirt better (especially if you don't do it regularly)

So, my girl friend... she doesn't masturbate (which makes it even better because she'll have a VERY fresh & well rested look once she starts). I decided to do what my good friend did for me a few years back. A nice little spontaneous trip to Hustler on Sunset Blvd where I purchased a nice little vibrator for her.

This is just the beginning of being 'open'. OPEN to possibilities, to new activities, new toys, & new boys!

IM Conversations: Sex on the Brain

So, this conversation took place today on instant messenger and it was just TOO good not to post.

It is PROOF that women are in fact like Pavlov's dogs (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov%27s_dogs) and can be conditioned (usually on their own accord) to make the funniest associations.

All names have been changed to protect the innocent (or naughty i guess is more appropriate):


GIRL 1 : "Billy" sounded so cute on the phone last night

GIRL 2: Is it bad to say that im one of those moods where i want a man to trick me with his game to get me in bed and just pleasure me all night

GIRL 2: AWWWWW "Billy." U realize everytme his name comes up i thnk of sex


Bad boys can be so inspiring... even when they belong to your friends ;)

Being "OPEN": What it really means.

Peanut is back in action!

Just a brief on my dating life the past few years: I pretty much haven't had one. 2 whole years of being uber-single... led me to start this blog. And I am happy I did!!!!

Ever since Jelly & I started this blog, I have been really pondering all the different issues facing the fact that I am not meeting people. I have been making an effort to put myself 'out there' , be more 'open' and all that junk.. what I didn't realize is that in order for that to actually work, your MIND needs to actually be OPEN TOO... it's not only about physically going out to places, it's about being open to the possibility of a connection with another human being in the present moment when you are out. You have to set aside all of your expectations (what I blogged about earlier) & you have to be yourself (what I concluded in the quest for my answer: 'Should girls dumb themselves down for men?').

Last but not least, you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO think about it a lot. Fantasize about meeting someone, dating someone, sleeping with someone, doing cute things together... you have to day dream about it, and continuously have it in your mind.

I have been in this mode for the past few weeks...its AMAZING how many people I have met (given, they might not be 'the one' but it's just the beginning).

So Jelly & I both had dates tonight: PROOF that we are both making EFFORTS to really get out there. I had fun!

My Date With A Potential Superman

Ladies, remember my post last week, "Being Bold At Boardner's," well, tonight was proof that being bold actually pays off. Tonight was my first date with Mr. D. After a few cute text messages and a week's worth of anticipation, we had dinner tonight. Getting ready for the date I was so incredibly nervous. A good nervous. I forgot how great it feels to change your lipstick, shirt, pants, and hairstyle at least five times each in order to make the perfect first impression.

Although we were both a little awkward at first, with each passing moment everything just got more comfortable and fun. Mr. D has a Clark Kentish quality to him... probably because he wears glasses and has a superbly mischievous smile. Let's just say throughout dinner part of me just wanted to rush across the table to pull of his shirt and see what was in store for me.

Which would have been particularly bad since my uncle and his wife were sitting at the table directly in front of us for half the meal (perfect, I know).

After dinner, Mr. D walked me to my car, at which point we chatted for another 20 minutes and made plans to get together again.

You know how when you first meet a guy, your friends give him a nickname based on some superficial quality just until they know whether or not he's going to be around long enough to deserve being called by his real name? A few examples from my past include belt boy (don't ask), math boy, and british boy. I think this boy is going to be Mr. Kent for the time being... I'll let you know if he earns his alias.