All about the ring?

So today was my law school graduation fair. Basically, you go booth to booth, and make sure you have your cap and gown, your graduation announcements, your over-priced diploma, and so forth. There was also a booth for picking out your law school ring. Looking at the rings on the table, I kind of laughed and looked at the woman at the booth and said, "well, I think I learned my lesson with the over-priced high school graduation ring I bought but never wore." She looked at me incredulously and said, "Anyone can graduate high school, this ring is a sign of your achievement."

I had to stop myself but I almost replied, "The only sign of achievement I want on my finger is a large engagement ring."

And there it is. Despite all my education and achievements, when it comes down to it, why does an engagement ring mean so much? Like the lady at the booth said about a high school ring, just about anyone can get married and get an engagement ring. A big diamond only has value because I (we, society?) give it value.

If your finger is the place to showcase your biggest achievement, which achievement merits the honor?

One may be the lonliest number, but is it safer?

The Relationship Express...

Recently, I've begun evaluating what makes for a good relationship. In prior relationships, I was always on the roller-coaster. Exceptional highs, and devastating lows. I remember feeling intoxicated when I was happy. But, when things were bad (and often they were) they were really bad. And so I've come to realize that a truly honest relationship is one that is stable, peppered with bursts of joy. I relish the fact that as a result of my stable relationship, I too have become less emotionally volatile overall. In my current relationship, we consistently share new experiences that feed our love and sustain us and our relationship. There are highs, but we have managed to cut out the stomach-wrenching lows. We are, my friends, on a love train.

When it comes to love, here's to hopping aboard the relationship express and leaving the roller-coaster ride at the amusement park.

Goal-Orientation

Last night over dinner, my boyfriend referenced the fact that he has a running list of goals (431 and counting...).

As you all know, I've recently voiced some of my worries about the future... well, if his goals are any indication, it seems like he is trying to give me a hint that I have no cause for concern:

goal #1: gorgeous wife

goal #2: children

The Art of Seduction

So yesterday, Peanut and I decided that due to record-breaking February highs in Los Angeles, it was time to head to Palm Springs for the inaguration of the tanning season. If you recall, the day trips to Palm Springs are a pasttime that Peanut and I live by.

After a day of tanning, lunching, laying, and swimming, Peanut and I were in great spirits driving back on the freeway. About 20 minutes into our drive home, a car full of boys speed ahead of us and made an attempt to get our attention. Here's how it went down.

Genus: Frat Boy

Seduction Style: While the car was going about 70 miles per hour, the passenger Frat Boy lifted himself out of the window up to his waiste, and proceeding to rub his nipples in an attempt to get some attention. And boy, attention do they get. Shortly after I pointed and laughed, drawing Peanut's attention to the scene, an undercover police officer in a truck pulled them over.

Watching the Frat Boy specimin engage in his version of the seduction style, I remembered an article I read recently about the seduction style of spiders. Apparently, the male spiders who get the most sex are not the ones that actively pursue the ladies - rather, it is the male spiders that literally play dead that copulate to their heart's content. For more on this,

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080227181655.7ypqks33&show_article=1

When it comes to the art of seduction, which works best for you? Do you need an aggressive alpha to pursue you or would you rather be the dominant one in the relationship?

Saving Yourself For Marriage: Cause For Concern?

We all remember the days when we idealistically proclaimed to the world (and our poor, unfortunate high school boyfriends): "I'm saving myself for marriage!" Although this didn't actually pan out for most of us (much to the dismay of our hopeful parents) new research suggests that losing your virginity early on may actually be a good thing.

"A study suggests the earlier you lose your virginity, the less likely you are to become a delinquent. Old finding: Kids who have early sex become delinquents. New findings : 1) When you eliminate genetic differences by comparing twins, those who have sex earlier don't become more delinquent. 2) Compared with fraternal twins, identical twins lose their virginity at relatively similar ages, which implies that the age at which you lose your virginity is genetically influenced. 3) In fact, 'adolescents who had sex at younger ages were less likely to end up delinquent than those who lost their virginity later'

Researchers' conclusions: 1) Early sex and delinquency share a genetic basis, probably in propensity to take risks. 2) For teens with risk-taking genes, "sexual relationships may offer an alternative to trouble."

Old advice: Pet your dog, not your date. New advice: Pop a cherry, not a cap."*

*I wish I could take credit for that last line. Alas, the cleverness is courtesy of William Saletan of Slate.com. Mr. Saletan writes a brilliant daily column on slate for their Health & Science section.

Marriage

Last week, on Valentine's day, I got one of the best texts ever from my best friend. It read, "I'm engaged!"

And just like that began the whirlwind of emotions that have since overcome me. On one hand, I am so incredibly happy for my best friend. She has found her life partner. We've been waiting for this since we were little fifth graders prank calling our crushes.

On the other hand, I can't help but acknowledge the overwhelming anxiety that has begun to visit me every time another engagement is announced since.

And trust me, this anxiety is a frequent caller, as I've learned of two other engagements in the last week alone.

Yes ladies, marriage season is in full swing, and I feel like I'm wearing a down coat in the dead of summer: In other words, I couldn't be more out of season.

Although I'm in a great relationship, I know (and have received confirmation) that marriage is nowhere on the horizon. The truth of the matter is that I'm ok with that, for now, because I'm not really ready for marriage myself. The question is, why then the anxiety?

Why then the sudden panic each time another engagement is announced?

BrideZilla or Just Plain Happy?

Entrep: Oh my god, make a u-turn...

Friend: What? why..?

Entrep: There is a freakin wedding dress in the window of that apartment on display... you have to see it!

As we pull up, her head comes forward... and we are just both starring. I wasn't really sure why we were so baffled... maybe it was because we wish we had a wedding dress to display? maybe because we didn't understand why on Earth anyone would face their wedding dress towards the street and pull the curtains aside to display it! Was she getting married!?!? Or was she a dress designer and really proud of her work?

Whatever it was, we were captured by it for at least 20 min... "I can't believe it.." "I know, what a weirdo!"

The stereotype of a wedding-obsessed, nitpicky, bridezilla has grown to be a strong one, especially in the last decade. And when we innocent girls want to get a little excited... we judge ourselves. And so what I took away from seeing that random wedding dress in the window: Don't let your fear of being a bridezilla take away from the excitement you deserve to feel!!! Celebrate the fact that you are getting married; hell put your wedding dress on display!!

... Yes the picture is one I actually took with my own camera (sorry it was dark).

Relationship Accounting 101

With tax season steadily approaching, it seems finances aren't the only thing we will need to account for. With each year comes new breakups, and for many of us, those breakups occur pretty close to the start of the year. So by tax season, it is time for us to lick our wounds and begin accounting, (i.e. what was good/bad about him or what was good/bad about the relationship)?

The question is, how do you truly account for a relationship? Even more importantly, how do you deal with the aftermath?

With a breakup comes the inevitable awkward first encounter. We've all been there, and in light of what a friend is currently going through, I've really started to wonder, what's the best way to handle it? Once a relationship ends, should the extent of your relationship with an ex be "transactional" (i.e. my bra for your favorite book) or should some attempt be made to preserve some semblence of a friendship?

I've always been one who follows the "when it is done, it is done" school of thought. Once a relationship is over, I sever all ties, and start accounting with a clean slate. However, I know not everyone tends to agree. I fear that if you keep in contact, sometimes it is hard a) to move forward and b) to honestly account to yourself for the relationship that you had. That being said, love is a tricky business, and though a relationship may dissapate in a heartbeat, that doesn't mean the love between you is as quick to vanish.

When it comes time to file your relationship returns, how do you account for love?

My Message to Entrepeanutbutter...

Hello Ladies. It seems we haven't heard from good old peanut for some time now... well, that is all (hopefully) about to change.

Yes Ladies, Peanut has her first date on Sunday with a cute boy who picked her up at my pinata shindig last weekend. Realiziation number 1: yay for pinata parties, realiziation number 2: yay for first dates. Yes, they can be awkward but honestly at the end of the day, all you can do, is look your best, put on a smile, and BE OPEN.

Who knows, maybe Mr. First Date will somehow align the stars to bring along Mr. Right.