Won't You Be, Mine (Neighbor?)

On Friday night, Mr. Neighbor came over and cooked me dinner.

And as we sat outside, in the candlelight and moonlight, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

Ladies, Mr. Neighbor is officially My Boyfriend.

Maintain the Space Between

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

Kahlil Gibran

Wise words from a wise man. In so many relationships, I've found myself attempting to prove that when you're in love, one plus one should equal one. In reality, as I've been experiencing with Mr. Neighbor, a little bit of space goes a long way. Rather than being obsessive and calling him every day, I make sure to leave a little bit of space between us... just enough to let him pull forward towards me.

Which leads me to another rule:

No Man Land Rule: A little space goes a LONG way. Maintain your independence and therefore maintain your man.

How To Bake the Perfect Man

So, a few posts ago I shied away from my usual affinity for prose and posted you all a poem. I said I'd post some details, and here they are.

Mr. Neighbor gives me hope. Ever since we've been dating, I've been happy. Calm, collected, and overall at peace. I guess having a pseudo boyfriend within a 100 feet of your bedroom window will do that to you.

He is everything that my last boyfriend was lacking - and ladies, that just proves that sometimes you do in fact get what you ask for.

So, I've decided that this indicates the need for another No Man Land Rule:

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Towards the end of my last relationship, I started to realize all the things that I needed from a life partner. And unfortunately, my ex didn't possess them all. However, the reward that comes from the wrong relationship is the self-awareness necessary to discover what constitutes the right relationship - with the right man.

I made a list of the qualities I needed - and poof - Mr. Neighbor appeared.... not even six

months later.

And maybe that's exactly what we should be doing - coming up with all the right ingredients, a recipe for man cake if you will, so that when Mr. Right pops up, we'll know to usher him towards our easy bake ovens ;)

Dating Tales From the Crypt

On May 7th, I wrote a post entitled, "Waiting for the Phone to Ring."

Well ladies, today it did. Mr. D. is officially back from the dead. Almost three months after our one and only date, Mr. D decided to call me today and see if I would be attending a mutual friend's party tomorrow night.

Needless to say, I am flabbergasted. His message was super nice, friendly, enthusiastic about seeing me.... It is as though no time has passed for him at all. I guess in the land of dead - where boys dissapear to when they stop returning your calls - time passes very quickly.

Not so in the land of the living. A lot of time, and men have passed by since my date with Mr. D.

I am thrilled to announce that I will be attending said party with Mr. Neighbor. Let's see what Mr. D thinks about that!

Back To The Future

Last week, my mom sat me down, and brought up the inevitable conversation. "You can only date him if you think you are both willing to get on the road towards marriage." She is, of course, referring to Mr. Neighbor.

Now, I understand where my mother is coming from. I'm 25, we come from a pretty traditional background, and marriage is well, always a lingering concern. But you know, my last relationship was all about, "is he marriageable??" and I all but had a nervous breakdown.

Things with Mr. Neighbor are going exceptionally well... Last night he invited me over to watch a movie at his place. This is the second movie we've attempted to watch and surprisingly, this time we almost got through the entire thing. He even made a joke about marriage, which in my mind led to a big neon sign appearing which said, we have a winner!

As much as I was annoyed by my mother's comment, it did ring true to some extent. I myself wonder if Mr. Neighbor and I have a shot in the future... because if not, I don't know how much long I can let myself fall for him.

Why is it that every time we are happy in the present, we always end up going back to worrying about the future?

Date Night

Saturday night has eternally been known as date night. Now, for most of us single ladies (and yes, I'm technically still single) Saturday night has devolved into this bar-hopping quest to find a non-belligerent, semi-handsome man to flirt with.

Yet, sometimes, when the stars are aligned, we do in fact end up on a date, on a Saturday night. And that is exactly what Mr. Neighbor and I found ourselves on this past weekend: a real, true to life, Saturday night, date.

I planned the perfect LA evening: A night out at Cinespia.

For those of you who haven't been, I highly recommend it. Saturday nights during the summer, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery screens movies on the side of a building. Don't let the fact that this takes place at a cemetery scare you off - it is phenomenal. Everyone brings blankets and picnics and sits on this great lawn listening to DJ's spin until the sun sets and the movie begins.

This past weekend we watched One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If you haven't seen it, it is Jack Nicholson at his best. I also recommend the book.

Mr. Neighbor and I snacked on wine and cheese, yummy desserts, and each other. The entire night he was ultra affectionate and impressed by my taste in choosing Cinespia as our date spot. He said it was one of the best things he has ever done in LA.

So all in all, I'm starting to feel a little cuckoo for Mr. Neighbor... the wonderful thing is he's acting a little cuckoo for me too.

Hope

And joy of joys
I realize all is well
And slowly all is full
And life is sweet
And time has slowed
If only just
A
Bit.

Funny how life resolves
And love fulfills
And hope lingers
And fear recedes
If only for
A
Moment.

-SJ (details to come...)

Be A Rainmaker

So, yesterday Mr. Neighbor invited me to lunch. I got all dolled up and counted down the minutes until 1:10, when he met me at my building. The elevator doors opened, and there he stood: tall, handsome, and wearing a killer suit. Walking through Beverly Hills, we looked like the ultimate power couple: tan, beautiful, well-dressed, and happy.

And then we had lunch.

He picked an uber-casual place, didn't pay for me, and at the end of the meal quickly walked me back to my office, gave me a kiss on the cheeck (because he was sick) and left.

And I felt, well, underwhelmed. Sitting in my office I realized something: I am too sensitive. Why should I wait for some action from him to make me feel better? Why couldn't I be the proactive one about my feelings? I wrote him an ultra-flirty, sexy email thanking him for his company and you know what, he sent me two ultra-flirty, super sexy and complimentary e-mails back.

And I felt better. Much much better.

Today I read an article about how people in China are engaging in a weather modification program where they literally make it rain artifically when they need it to. Here is the link if you are interested:

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/China/IG13Ad01.html

If China can literally change the weather and make it rain when they need to, the least I can do is be proactive and take the steps necessary to feel better when I'm being unnecessarily insecure.

When it comes to washing away insecurity, I intend to be a rainmaker.

Find Your "(th)inner" Marc Jacobs

Ladies, we are officially starting the second quarter of No Man Land. And yes, it is time for another rule:

No Man Land Rule: Never underestimate the power of working on your fitness...

Working out is a sure fire way to:

a) Feel more energetic (thus projecting a more open, welcoming vibe)

b) Look hot in a bikini (the implications of which are obvious!)

c) Meet men at the gym/on a run/on a hike/ by the beach, etc.

Curious about the picture? It is a before and after (getting on his fitness!) picture of Marc Jacobs (yes, the designer). And ladies, if Marc Jacobs can do it, so can we. Let this picture serve as your motiviation - it has surely served as mine.

Three Month Anniversary: The Round Up

Ladies, No Man Land is officially three months old. In honor of this great achievement, I thought I'd put together a round-up of all the men we have encountered together thus far:

Sexy Jelly:

1. Law School Boy

2. Mr. D

3. Old Tommy

4. The Doctor

5. The Dentist

6. Mr. A (from New York)

7. Mr. Smile (How did I forget him the first time I posted this, I don't know... thanks for the reminder anonymous ;)

8. Mr Neighbor (Yay!!)

Entrepeanutbutter:

1. Mr. Destin-E (holding strong!)

It seems, at the very least, that No Man Land, has proven to be a success... We went from no men, to many men by changing my outlook on dating in Los Angeles. They may not all of been ideal, but each man proved to be a very valuable learning experience, as evinced by the entries on this blog. In fact, Entrepeanutbutter may in fact have found "the one" although only time (and the blog ;) will tell...

The No Man Land mantra, "Be OPEN" has truly become a way of life for us - and I think that it may in fact be the cure to LMS that we have been seeking. That being said, this is only the beginning for No Man Land, the blog. If the past three months are any indication, who knows what (or who!) the future holds in store.

Thank you for all your comments - please keep them coming!

Heart to Heart

It has been a while since we've done any No Man Land rules... but here is an important one to remember:

No Man Land Rule: In order to win him over, find the way to his heart.

This past few weeks with Mr. Neighbor, he has been subtly revealing himself to me, as most men do at the beginning of a relationship. Luckily for him, I've been paying attention...

Last night I was able to show him just how much I've learned about him thus far. I am almost done reading the book he gave me on Thursday (which he found thrilling). The book is primarily about surfing, which is one of his greatest passions. I told him that the book has fundamentally changed the way I view the ocean. His response, "It served its purpose." Giving me the book was his way of letting me in - my reading it in only a few days and liking it was my way of showing him how at home with him I intend to be.

Another discovery I've made is that he loves Guitar Hero, a great video game. I know. Video game. Sounds terrible, but in reality it isn't. So I invested in the game, and last night he came over and we had a tournament.

And third, one I already knew about most men: Entourage. Men love entourage. Luckily, I already have HBO and last night we caught up on a few episodes.

Surfing. Video games. Entourage.

Three small ways I've discovered into Mr. Neighbor's heart. Intellect, hotness, and affection - three ways that Mr. Neighbor has discovered into mine.

The First Supper

So last night, Mr. Neighbor picked me up and took me to dinner. Since I had never had Thai before (I know, ridiculous) he picked out a great restaurant, and ordered for us. This is a fantastic way to see what kind of man you are dealing with. Not only did he pick a really beautiful restaurant, he picked all the best things on the menu (which he had researched earlier in the day).

I wore what he called "the shortest skirt he had ever seen" and he wore a big smile on his face.

At the end of the meal, we got fortune cookies and mine read:

"Romance moves you in a new direction"

I couldn't have said it better myself. Romance has moved me two houses East...

We Saw Fireworks (Literally)

Last night, I was driving out of my house to go watch the fireworks that the local country club puts on every year, when I noticed Mr. Neighbor’s car in the driveway. So, I decided to call him and invite him to join me for the show. Ladies, there is nothing more convenient than dating your neighbor – I highly recommend it.

In any case, we had an incredible night together (as usual). I don’t know what is more explosive: the fireworks we watched or the chemistry we have when we get together.

The only lingering problem I must face is what to do with Mr. Smile. He called me on Monday and I have yet to return his call… I definitely don’t want to see him anymore, but I don’t want to completely blow him off either. Many a man has been in this predicament (as I have experienced first hand) and they just stop returning calls (i.e. the Doctor I went out with in early May…) But, being that I stem from the more compassionate gender, I’d like to try to do a bit better than that.

The question is: When you’re feeling fireworks with one man, how do you let the other one know that the fire is out? Our founding fathers had to go to war with Britain to end their relationship, which is clearly not the road I’d like to take.

When all you want is your independence, what’s the politically correct way to say, I don’t want to date you anymore?

Can't Get You Out of My Head...

La la la
La la la la la

La la laLa la

la la la

I just cant get you out of my head

Boy your loving is all I think about

I just cant get you out of my head

Boy its more than I dare to think about

La la la

La la la la la

Who knew Kylie Minogue could be so on point? Every since my dream date with Mr. Neighbor Saturday night, I literally can't get him out of my head. I relive every moment, every word, and wonder, was it real? Did I give too much? Will he just poof! and disappear? Should I call him? What is he thinking? Why am I acting so crazy?

The bottom line is, that I know in my heart we connected, and that I have nothing to worry about. Yet, with the cacaphony in my mind, I'm having a hard time focusing on anything else.

When you feel like you belong in a hospital for the love sick (which I would imagine looks something like the kylie minogue video pic above), how do you get the voices in your head to turn off?

Go go, Speed Dater?

Where I was with Mr. Smile last week, is where I am with Mr. Neighbor this week. What a world of difference one week can make. I spent all of Saturday with Mr. Neighbor, from 10 am to 5 am. We went to the beach, a barbeque and hung out the entire night as well.

Let’s just say, I’m completely and utterly sprung.

Which should make me feel wonderful right? Not so much. All day Sunday, I felt completely sick and confused. How is it possible that one week I’m so passionate about one man, and the next week so passionate about another?

And this is how I’ve come to realize I’m dating-challenged. I’m great at being a girlfriend, where there are no boundaries, and the affection is endless… I’m not so great at getting to know someone slowly, and only then deciding whether or not to drop anchor.

As far as Mr. Smile is concerned, I think I’m totally over it. Mr. Neighbor is just so much more intriguing, due to his intellect and wit. Not to mention, he is H-O-T and lives two doors down. The only problem is that emotionally, I feel like already totally invested in Mr. Neighbor and completely vulnerable – and I’ve only known him one week! I feel like speed dater!

The question is: when your heart is racing full speed ahead, how do you slow down long enough to know whether or not you should even be in the race?