The M Word

On Sunday, the boyfriend and I were enjoying the sun and each other's company while we were on a hike when I couldn't help but overhear the conversation going on between two power hiker twenty-something women who were racing past us.

Girl #1: So, I was talking to him and brought up the future and you won't believe what he said!
Girl #2: Oh no.
Girl #1: Oh yes. He said he doesn't know if he wants to ever get married and have kids.
Girl #2: OH NO.
Girl #1: Oh yes. And then he asked me, what about you? And I said, um, YEAH, totally!

And I looked at my boyfriend and started laughing because one of the greatest points of contention in our relationship is that he used to say the same thing. In fact, one of my closest friends dumped her ex for saying the same thing as well.

Luckily, through time and open-minded conversations the boyfriend and I have discovered that we are both in fact open to marriage. And when I think about it now in retrospect, I don't know why I took anything he said about maybe not wanting marriage or kids so seriously in the first place. I mean, of course he wants to get married and have kids some day. Sure some people definitely don't - but you can tell right away when you are dealing with someone that actually falls into that category (which in this day and age is still few and far in between).

If men know that women want to hear that they are open to getting married, why don't men just say it?

And if women know that when men say they aren't open to getting married they are probably bullshitting, why is it that so many of us have found ourselves putting so much weight on what they casually say?

Why is it even really necessary to have this conversations before you're sure you even want him in that way?

I mean, the right relationship will lead to marriage. It is not like your man being open to marriage will make it the right relationship. Let's not put the carriage in front of the horse...

Why should him saying the magic M word (eons before you are even sure he is the one you want to marry) matter?