How Patient Is Too Patient?

You meet him. He gets your number. And then it begins: the waiting game.

When will he call? After he calls, when will he call again? After you go out, should you call? Should you not call? What if he doesn't call for a few days? What if he doesn't want to make plans for another week? What if he does make plans, but doesn't seem like he is ready to commit? What if??

The minute you embark on that "we're dating" or "we're seeing each other" or, in the most ambiguous case, "we're getting somewhat naked but we don't have a title," journey, one things becomes abundantly clear: as a woman, if you want it to work, chances are you have to relinquish some level of control and let the man take the reins. The problem is, a lot of men these days are deathly afraid of commitment, so they have no idea what to do with the reins once they have them.

And so, you wait. You wait for the call. You withstand the urge to make plans. You do whatever you can to give him the sense of comfort you think he needs in order to step up to the plate and get the two of you out of the amorphous "we're spending time together and it's not platonic" phase and into the "we're a couple" phase. And it's not easy. Some lucky few are born with patience: the rest of us have to make a tremendous effort to wait elegantly.

In my dating experience, the thing I've learned is that the old adage is true: patience is certainly a virtue.

The question is: at what point do you cross the line and move from patient to pointless? Is there such a thing as being too patient and getting played?