Monday, April 20, 2009

The Case of the Lost Dildo


Sunday morning I woke up to find that my dildo/vibrator which usually sleeps right under my pillow was gone! Where could it be?

I searched all around the bed, underneath, in the bathroom, the drawers, behind a shelf and cabinet... no where to be found. This rather large toy, which I now desperately miss, is lost. So I started thinking and worrying.... did someone find it? It hit me! The housekeeper was here recently and she made my bed and cleaned my room. It had to be her! I started to imagine what could have happened... and I thought of only three possible scenarios:

Scenario #1
Housekeeper finds the dildo, looks at it, doesn't know what it is and puts it somewhere in the house thinking it doesn't belong in the bed. [Since I live with the family, this scenario could definitely be an awkward one!]

Scenario #2
Housekeeper finds the dildo, knows exactly what it is, whispers in Spanish: Lord forgive her and trashes it.

Scenario #3
Housekeeper finds the dildo, looks at it, doesn't know what it is so she asks someone who was home (possibly mom or dad) and somehow it gets trashed.

Whatever the situation may be... the sad part is... I had developed a relationship with it and it was $50!