Thursday, May 31, 2007

Future Occupation: Couture Collector


I'm not sure if many of you have heard of Nan Kempner, but by the sounds of her obituary, she was quite a fascinating woman. Her clothing collection was recently displayed at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. I know posting an obituary may seem a bit morbid, but it is a must read. A quote from Nan herself before her passing: "I want to be buried naked, I know there's a store where I'm going."

The American socialite and couture collector Nan Kempner, who has died aged 74, was an exemplar of how to spend it if you had it; she demonstrated that entrance to the New York elite was open to those with elan and wardrobes of size two couture.

As the slogan on her cushions read, she was The Queen Of Everything. She had been a muse to Yves St Laurent, the original of Tom Wolfe's "social x-rays" (hostesses, in The Bonfire Of The Vanities, as thin as they were rich), and a reliable photo-op for 50 years, recently in demand for glossy features on fabulousness in age.

"If I'm going to go," she warned en route to hospital for treatment for the emphysema that killed her, "I'm going to do it with a photographer taking my picture."

Had she been born later, or poor, her character and wit would have furthered a career. As it was, they were her career, although now and again she swept past as consultant at Harper's Bazaar, Tiffany's, French Vogue and Christie's (where her role was to be "a shill to bring friends in"). In the Manhattan manner, she worked her networks in service of charities, especially the Memorial Sloan-Kettering cancer centre, which, in 2000, received the proceeds of her book, RSVP: Menus For Entertaining From People Who Really Know How.

"Nervous hostesses ruin a party," she advised, "imagination and great friends" made for good ones, while the best hospitality might be no more than a bowl of spaghetti in Greenwich Village. Every Sunday night, she did downhome pasta for friends - Princess Diana and Nancy Reagan among them - "home" being a 16-room duplex at 79th and Park Avenue, where she lived for more than 45 years. Nan was from San Francisco, the daughter of a Ford car dealer, Albert Schlesinger, and his wife Irma, "who cared terribly about how she looked".
Her formal education ended with a year in Paris, taking painting lessons with Fernand Léger, who told her "I had so little talent I should go back to San Francisco and stop wasting my parents' money . . . it was true." Her informal education, in the power of appearances, began when Irma put her on a diet at 12; Nan read recipe books for comfort and turned to cigarettes at 14. She smoked heavily until a decade ago, tar toning her voice to a timbre that intensified the wit. On the way back from that Paris foray, she met Thomas Kempner, chairman of an investment bank, who said her Dior skirt was too short; they traded insults at the Monkey Bar, dated, and married in 1952.

Her mother and grandmother had trained her as a clotheshorse. Grandma wore "classy silk jackets to bed, with sheets to match"; mother wore only red, black or grey. When they picked her up from summer camp, she noticed they had coats with linings that matched their dresses. Her own first couture gown was a white Dior sheath, bought in the early 1950s, just before she attained instant celebrity via a Museum of Modern Art committee. She travelled to Paris and Milan twice a year for shows, seldom absent from the St Laurent salon.
Nicotine, deprivation - she used thick lettuce leaves instead of bread for sandwiches - and exercise in her apartment mini-gym kept her slender enough to fit into couture samples, discounted at $10,000 a gown.

She stored them (when the children grew up, she converted their rooms to extra closets) and "it turns out that I was an art collector. Museums come and ask me for clothes all the time". As curator of her own rails, she was elected to the fashion Hall of Fame and gave courses at the Metropolitan museum. She bought too much and wore all of it, dressed up in the 1970s as "Pocahontas, Nanook of the North, I'd be - God knows - the River Boat Queen; it was such fun".

She was crazy about, and in, high heels - she bent to kiss her husband after climbing into a pair of rare spikes, tripped and broke her hip. Such insouciant stories were a wow. Remember that 1960s legend of a socialite who was stopped at the door of a chic restaurant because she was in a trouser suit? That was Nan Kempner in a St Laurent tunic over pants. She took off the bottom half on the spot, gave it to her husband, and flaunting the top as a minidress over racehorse legs, warily sat to dine. "I put a lot of napkins in my lap and didn't dare bend over." "Artificially relaxed" was how Nan described her style.

"I've always liked being noticed, and I work hard at it . . . Never has anyone done so much with so little." She was frank about her plastic surgery. As she would go "to the opening of a door", there were decades of lunches, galas and parties worldwide, her favourite being her 50th wedding anniversary, catering for 476 people at the New York Botanical Gardens. Although by then accessorised with a portable oxygen tank, she attended Ronald Reagan's funeral, and dished the dirt on it with the rest of the girls next day. Two women in an Armistead Maupin story propose a wax museum of society so that future generations will know what Nan Kempner was like. No need. She left enough snaps of herself looking swell to paper Park Avenue.

Her husband, and children Tommy, Lina and James, survive her. · Nan Kempner, couture collector, born July 24 1930; died July 3 2005

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Social Disease: The LMS cure?


"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs."




Last night the girls and I went to a bar in Santa Monica for a party. Now, this may seem like a normal occurrence, but it symbolizes the start of the work hard play hard summer of 2007. Work all day, play all night - this is my latest goal.


Today was my first day back to work.


Very pleased that since I only had 2 shots of the pineapple-infused sake and not four, I have no hangover... Very unhappy that I am at work nonetheless.


This summer will be all about Warhol's affliction: social disease - which I intend to spread. In the end, the more the merrier, right? If I want to combat LMS head on, the best way is to meet as many men as possible. Statistically, social disease should actually improve my chances!


Monday, May 28, 2007

More Rules...


"The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it."



Ladies, this isn't a new topic, but this quote was too good not to write about. I have two no man land rules that I intend to stick to quite strictly for the next few weeks in order to see if I get any results:

First, I will be a bitch. I will be the biggest, most indifferent bitch ever. When I meet someone, and they get my number, I will not be nice when they call. I will not be available. I will not give them a complete glimpse of the glory that is me. I will be a bitchity bitch bitch until they earn it.

Second, I will dumb it down. Yes, Peanut discovered that another way to look at this is to just find smarter people, but until I meet these so called smarter people, I'm going to dumb it down. Out will come the wide eyes of disbelief and away will go the shrewd eyes of experience.

If the height of cleverness is to conceal it, I'm going to be awfully clever this summer.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

There is no place like Man-hattan


We (SexyJelly, Entrepeanutbutter, and our accomplice, Wonder Bread Woman) flew in to NYC early Friday morning and headed straight to the D.R.E.A.M. hotel where we were staying. And dream we did. We passed out until four in the afternoon at which point revived and refreshed, we woke up, lunched and started planning for our evening.


New York is all about the all night night life. And for three deprived Los Angeles ladies (who are usually forced home by abrupt bouncers at 2 a.m.) we were ready to play all night. We decided to meet up with some NY friends and go to Home, a nightclub.

And make ourselves at home we did (pardon the extremely obvious pun...).


Within ten minutes, I was dancing the night away with Mr. A. Mr. A. is tall, handsome, from L.A. and a great dancer.

I was exploring my NY alter ego, Sexy Jelly Plus (SJP for short - in honor of the original SJP ;) by wearing an incredible short, tight, sex kitten dress - which worked like a charm.

Mr. A. and I spent the entire night dancing, and actually got together the next night out as well. In his words, "We picked up right where we left off."

The best part is, on Sunday night, Mr. A took me, Peanut and Wonder woman out to dinner.

Why are these kinds of men so hard to find in Los Angeles?

Is Man-hattan the cure to LMS?


More posts to come on this one...


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Turning 25...


In less than half an hour, I will officially turn 25. I've made a lot of changes in my life this past year and I can safely say, I have NEVER felt better.


In the past year I moved from New York to Los Angeles, I started a new law school, I walked away from the first love of my life, and I learned how to embrace who I am while exploring with an open mind and a willingness to change and grow. I am lucky.


But enough of the sentimental reflections.


I'm turning 25, and I am feeling fabulous. I just got back from a fantastic trip to NY (ladies, all the details are on the way) and my family surprised me with a new convertible.


25 = Super Sexy Jelly


This summer will be all about

+ Being golden (Courtesy of gold highlights and a killer tan from the convertible)

+ Being skinny (New Yorkers... all that walking does WONDERS)

+ Being self-sufficient (I am working full time as a law clerk ;)

+ Being fashionable (Courtesy of the new NY wardrobe)

+ Being social

+ Being OPEN


I owe so many updates... from my surgeon that I went on a date with (see the text analysis post) to the pseudo boyfriend I found in NY (again details to come)...


I just wanted to thank you all for sharing in my life and my race to cure LMS. Please continue to share your comments. This summer is going to be A-MAAAA-ZING.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Time For Some Sex And the City


Well, the time has come for Peanut and Jelly to take a little vacation... We are off to the big apple tonight and won't be back till next Wednesday. Get ready for some great dish upon out return. There will be a lot of drinking, dancing and of course shopping... oh yes, and hopefully men! Maybe New York will offer some insight into the elusive LMS cure.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Love or Objective Qualities?

How do you know when you've met "the one"?

CLICK THIS LINK:
http://inthislifela.blogspot.com/2007/05/how-will-you-know-when-heshe-is-one.html

Feeling My Gray Anatomy


So, last week I was brushing my hair and found the single greatest symbol of my impending quarter century mark, turning 25: A gray hair. Now, I've found a few gray hairs before, and quickly pulled them out in denial, but this one was the worst kind. The kind of gray hair that has just turned gray. The kind where you can tell the exact moment where your biological clock said, fuck you, I'm giving up a little.

I know going gray is genetic, and doesn't necessarily represent that I'm getting old, and my life is passing my by. I mean, I only have like four at this point. But, still. Next week, I turn 25 and despite all my prospects, for the moment, I'm still alone. Just me and my four gray hairs.

So, what do we do ladies? Do we succumb to the clock? Feel bad about the grays? Worry about infertility (as Grey's Anatomy would have us do)? I mean come on, Addison not being able to have a child must have struck a chord with someone other than just me. She chose her career, and in the end, gave up her opportunity to have children.

Well, here's what my solution is. I just went out and got my hair highlighted. Gray hairs be damned! I'm choosing to look fabulous and remain optimistic. Besides, this could be a good experiment. If the old adage is true, and blonds really do have more fun, then some highlights may be exactly what I need to get one step closer to the cure to my LMS.


Saturday, May 12, 2007

Text Analysis


So, I wrote this really lovely text to a boy I'm interested in the night after our first date. And no, this is not another Mr. D story. This is someone new :) In any case, after three hours, he replied to my text with, "Great!"

Peanut and I were discussing his text today because I was completely unsatisfied by it. I felt like wow, after such a great date, and such great repor, and such a nice text, didn't I deserve more than just great, exclamation point?

Peanut brought up a good point: "Great!" is not the same as "Great." She told me that if he had left out the exclamation point, then I would have been in trouble.

My question is:

When texting, how much weight should punctuation carry? Does an exclamation point really mean the difference between "I'm interested!" and "I'm just being polite"?

Being too open.. (to be cont'd)

Is there is such a thing as revealing too much too fast?

Friday, May 11, 2007

Apparently, I'm A Little TOO "Open"


So, the other day I was going to get a mani/pedi and decided rather than worrying about a meter, I should park on a nearby residential street. As I'm parking, I realize that a gardener with a leaf blower is hard at work on the lawn adjacent to the spot I was parking in. Rather than blowing leaves all over me, the gardener decided to turn off his leaf blower and wait for me to get out of the car. I'm thinking, aw, how sweet, and so I say, "Lo siento! Gracias!" He replies, "You speak Spanish?" in perfect English and I begin to feel mortified. My god, have I offended him by assuming he didn't speak English? Have a committed some cardinal non-politically correct sin? Flustered, I reply, "Of course I speak Spanish!" with a smile and walk away.

When I get back to the car, I notice that there is a business card on my windshield. I look around at the other cars to see if they have business cards too, but no, it is just me. I pick up the card and see that it is business card for "Miguel and Jose's Gardening Service" with an arrow pointing to Jose's cell phone.

Apparently Jose wasn't offended that I assumed he only spoke Spanish. Instead, he wants an opportunity to blow my leaves!

Ladies, I got picked up by a gardener. I don't even know what else to say. For once, sexyjelly is speechless.




Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Straight From the Horse's Mouth...


Ladies, a few weeks ago, I posted about "The Game," a book which is the bible of male pick-up-artists. Well, today a male friend of mine indirectly confirmed that men do in fact employ well-rehearsed tactics when trying to pick-up and date women. Beware of this tactic ladies... as it came straight from the horse's mouth.


"When I first meet a woman, I go out of my way to seem incredibly open-minded and non-judgmental. That way, the women starts getting comfortable and starts revealing intimate details about her life without worrying that I'm going to judge her. If you show that you are in fact actually judgmental, women clam up. For example, I recently went out on a date and started telling the girl I was with how I think it is totally natural for girls to have feelings for other girls. Sure enough, she responded by telling me all about her lesbian fantasies."


I've definitely made the mistake of open-up way too quickly in the past. Although I like to be authentic at all times, there is something to be said about keeping your more controversial/or personal details to yourself until you actually get to know the person with whom you are talking. In other words, establish trust before you start sharing about yourself.


Otherwise, you may have a Mr. Ed (talking horse) sharing your secret fantasies all over town.

E-Nut's Date with Mr. E

So tonight I had a date with
Mr. E (Mr. Destin-e that is).

Thanks to everyone's feedback on my recent post about being too quick to judge on the small things, I have made an effort to stay open and see if there is anything there. Well, there definitely is... and I'm excited!!! Mr. E definitely has likings of things that I hate... but at the same time, we have a lot of similarities as well. The combo feels like it's good for me (if that makes any sense).

So to be honest with you all, I haven't dated anyone for almost 3 years now. I feel kinda like a divorced women trying to re-kindle love in my life again... and I'm not sure if I should make myself unavailable, show interest, a combo... or what I am supposed to do with myself. People always say that when you first start getting to know someone there are certain strategies/rules you need to follow. In Farsi, they say that a girl should 'hook' the guy.

Or the other option is to "Just be yourself!" But myself would call whenever & ask to hang out everyday. It's like when you get a new pair of shoes, you want to wear them all the time & keep picking outfits that will match the shoes.

Do be myself... or are there games that need to be played? If so, please tell me the game tactics... because I'm not good with games.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Waiting for the Phone to Ring...


So, it has almost been exactly one week since my date with Mr D./Mr. Kent. The date where we opened up, got to know each other, laughed, semi-flirted. The date for which I wore a super cute outfit, blow-dried my hair, and took time away from my very busy "it's the week before finals, holy shit, I should study!" schedule.

At the end of the night, I text him, "Thanks! I had fun." to which he replied, "Me too. See you soon."

And alas, a week has passed, and see you soon has come and gone.

Which leads me to my question:


When you go on a great date, why is it that sometimes the boy just never calls? In man language, does "see you soon" actually mean "don't call us, we'll call you?"

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Drawing the line when it comes to finding Mr. Right?

You meet someone new. As you get to know each other you start to find out all kinds of different things about one another.

We all have our imaginary man that we want to be with & the thought of meeting him leaves us just a little wet. But chances are you won't meet someone will all those characteristics. So you have to compromise... but

When you are getting to know a guy, you start to find out where they like to shop, what they like to eat, read, do, drive, live, work, what they watch on T.V., then you learn about their past, what they were like as a teenager, what kinds of experiences they had, what college they went to, etc. etc.

Now, what if you find out (for example) that they eat at a restaurant you hate, they went to a college that you generally would talk shit about (if they didn't go there), as a teen they were the kind of person you would have NEVER looked twice at, they watch programs on T.V. you cannot stand... do you rule them out & stop talking to them or do you continue to leave yourself open to see if you guys will connect?

Where do you draw the line, is it ONLY about the 'connection' you feel with them, or do these random little facts matter?

The Introduction of Mr. Destin-E




So, last night I got to meet Peanut's new potential love interest: Mr. Destin-E. He is incredibly witty, intelligent, successful, and gracious. I liked him immediately. Anyone who is articulate and has an advanced grasp of the English language automatically gets moved into my preferred category of men. I mean what's hotter than impressive vocabulary use? (Ok, maybe this is just my fetish... but I digress).

Here is what makes the fact that Peanut has met and actually likes Mr. Destin-E so interesting. Just last week, Peanut was telling me that she thinks that she needs to meet a man that is more like me. We were talking about how in our friendship we really compliment each other since we are so different.

And last night, talking to Mr. Destin-E, I realized that all the reasons I approve of Mr. E for Peanut are somewhat narcissistic! He embodies all the characteristics that I appreciate about myself. In essence, he is (at least from what we know so far) exactly what Peanut asked for last week: a male version of me!

What makes this whole situation even more compelling is that when I met Mr. Destin-E, I realized that I had met him once before. A little over a month ago, I met Mr. Destin-E in the elevator at the parking lot at my school. He is an alumnus of my law school and was on campus to recruit law clerks for his firm. Our interaction in the elevator lasted all of five seconds. He asked me about the book I was carrying, and that was that. And yet, he left a lasting impression on me.

When I met him last night, everything came full circle. Which leads to my question of the day:

In a world of endless seemingly random encounters, is it possible that some encounters are actually kismet?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Dirty Laundry



So, assuming that things with Mr. Kent continue to a second date (and beyond I hope) we're inevitably going to get into discussions about our respective pasts. Who we've dated, for how long, why we broke up, how many people we've been with (my personal favorite). So, if and when these conversations come up, what is the best tactic? Complete honesty? Partial honesty? Complete fantasy?

When it comes to starting a new relationship, how much of your dirty laundry should you air out?

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

BEING OPEN Part 2: Can new toys be the way to meet new boys?

I was with a girl friend tonight... we were discussing ways in which you can 'open' yourself to meet new people. Yes, I do believe that it's a mental thing, however MEETING people can be quite difficult if you don't take action in the physical world (it's not all just mental). You need to go out, you need to look good more than just 1 day a week, & most importantly you need to flirt. This could be quite a difficult thing to do for some. Especially those who are a little more conservative.

So my girl friend & I are sitting at a coffee shop & it all of a sudden dawns on me! She needs to start masturbating... reasons:
1. It's good to have sex on your mind & give off a sexual vibe when you are around guys, so they don't just think of you as a 'cool' friend to have

2. When you orgasm, it's like sleeping... it's needed & keeps you looking fresh & well rested (when you are well rested you are prettier)

3. A girl needs to have a smile on her face, even if it means it was put there by her own lonesome self

4. It will loosen you up a little & help you flirt better (especially if you don't do it regularly)

So, my girl friend... she doesn't masturbate (which makes it even better because she'll have a VERY fresh & well rested look once she starts). I decided to do what my good friend did for me a few years back. A nice little spontaneous trip to Hustler on Sunset Blvd where I purchased a nice little vibrator for her.

This is just the beginning of being 'open'. OPEN to possibilities, to new activities, new toys, & new boys!

IM Conversations: Sex on the Brain



So, this conversation took place today on instant messenger and it was just TOO good not to post.

It is PROOF that women are in fact like Pavlov's dogs (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlov%27s_dogs) and can be conditioned (usually on their own accord) to make the funniest associations.



All names have been changed to protect the innocent (or naughty i guess is more appropriate):


GIRL 1 : "Billy" sounded so cute on the phone last night

GIRL 2: Is it bad to say that im one of those moods where i want a man to trick me with his game to get me in bed and just pleasure me all night

GIRL 2: AWWWWW "Billy." U realize everytme his name comes up i thnk of sex


Bad boys can be so inspiring... even when they belong to your friends ;)

Being "OPEN": What it really means.

Peanut is back in action!

Just a brief on my dating life the past few years: I pretty much haven't had one. 2 whole years of being uber-single... led me to start this blog. And I am happy I did!!!!

Ever since Jelly & I started this blog, I have been really pondering all the different issues facing the fact that I am not meeting people. I have been making an effort to put myself 'out there' , be more 'open' and all that junk.. what I didn't realize is that in order for that to actually work, your MIND needs to actually be OPEN TOO... it's not only about physically going out to places, it's about being open to the possibility of a connection with another human being in the present moment when you are out. You have to set aside all of your expectations (what I blogged about earlier) & you have to be yourself (what I concluded in the quest for my answer: 'Should girls dumb themselves down for men?').

Last but not least, you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO think about it a lot. Fantasize about meeting someone, dating someone, sleeping with someone, doing cute things together... you have to day dream about it, and continuously have it in your mind.

I have been in this mode for the past few weeks...its AMAZING how many people I have met (given, they might not be 'the one' but it's just the beginning).

So Jelly & I both had dates tonight: PROOF that we are both making EFFORTS to really get out there. I had fun!

My Date With A Potential Superman




Ladies, remember my post last week, "Being Bold At Boardner's," well, tonight was proof that being bold actually pays off. Tonight was my first date with Mr. D. After a few cute text messages and a week's worth of anticipation, we had dinner tonight. Getting ready for the date I was so incredibly nervous. A good nervous. I forgot how great it feels to change your lipstick, shirt, pants, and hairstyle at least five times each in order to make the perfect first impression.



Although we were both a little awkward at first, with each passing moment everything just got more comfortable and fun. Mr. D has a Clark Kentish quality to him... probably because he wears glasses and has a superbly mischievous smile. Let's just say throughout dinner part of me just wanted to rush across the table to pull of his shirt and see what was in store for me.



Which would have been particularly bad since my uncle and his wife were sitting at the table directly in front of us for half the meal (perfect, I know).



After dinner, Mr. D walked me to my car, at which point we chatted for another 20 minutes and made plans to get together again.

You know how when you first meet a guy, your friends give him a nickname based on some superficial quality just until they know whether or not he's going to be around long enough to deserve being called by his real name? A few examples from my past include belt boy (don't ask), math boy, and british boy. I think this boy is going to be Mr. Kent for the time being... I'll let you know if he earns his alias.