This past week I've been holed up in the library studying for my impending finals. And basically, I realized something: I was functioning even though I hadn't seen/spoken to my boyfriend. And ladies, this to me was shocking.
There is a long history behind this feeling. Every relationship has a different level of connection. In the past, I've had relationships where we text, e-mail, call, etc. all throughout the day, every single day. And then there is the relationship I've been in for the past ten months. From the very start, it was clear that my boyfriend was not of the "chatty" variety. Although when we are together in person, we are very together (I have 100% of his undivided attention and love) when we are apart, we basically function as individuals.
We have worked to reach some sort of middle ground (in the past, he's never been in a relationship where you absolutely talk every single day, and I now get at least an e-mail and call daily) but still, our level of communication is a far cry from what I imagined in the past it should be. He has basically conditioned me not to expect that 100% of the time level of communication communication.
As a result, I've kind of learned to function without him during the day when we are apart. The question is, is that good? I know it means that we are both maintaining our independence, but on the other hand, sometimes I crave that intense "I miss you" feeling.
When you are in a relationship where one plus one actually equals two in stead of one, have you evolved past the codependent relationship model or do you only have half a relationship?
2 comments:
There is no right or wrong answer here. We all need to look within ourselves to figure out this answer. Each person is unique in their needs and wants and some need more contact than others in order to be fulfilled and happy in their relationship. For others it is not so. So, I think the questions that should be posed here are: What are u needs? What are you wants? Are u fulfilled in your relationship? I think THESE questions will offer the best answer to your question.
do you think he misses you back?
this is a very important questions. u guys haven't even been together that long and are acting like a middle aged couple that are totally content with not seeing each other.
maybe you need to ask yourself why you don't miss him? does he do things you don't like? does he not offer anything in the relationship? is this just convenient?
maybe he's not the one, maybe he is but you have to ask yourself why you don't miss him.
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