The Grass Is Always Greener? (Or is it?)

Today I was chatting online with a male friend of mine, let's call him Joe. I had seen him chatting up some ladies, and I asked him if anything came out of it... Here is some of our convo:

SexyJelly: you can't assume they aren't interested, you just have to feel it out

Joe: yeah, the question is how interested am i

SexyJelly: true

SexyJelly: of course

Joe: i have set a high bar, and maybe its too high, i have to adjust, cuz i let totaly good girls go by

SexyJelly: you are allowed to have high standards

SexyJelly: you should
Joe: but are they realistic?

Joe: i mean if no one seems to be meeting them is that good too?

This conversation seems to indicate a truth that sometimes evades us: we are in fact on a level playing field with the opposite sex. Although I always think, there are so many good girls, there are no good boys, the boys oftentimes espouse the same sentiment.

Tracy Chapman said it best when she asked in her song entitled "Why",

"Why when there's so many of us are there people still alone?" And this chat goes towards at least one answer to that very complex question: unreasonable expectations.

So the question is, if we are all plagued with the same fears and unreasonable expectations, why is it so hard for us to put them aside and make meaningful connections with the opposite sex?

If the grass isn't in fact greener, maybe it is time for us to put down our (de)fenses?