Driving to school this morning, I was listening to a CD my girlfriend made for me a few years ago, which includes the track "I Wanna Get Married" by Nellie McKay. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Nellie McKay, she is a singer-songwriter from England who used to be a standup comedian. Her music is incredibly eclectic, a mix of Jazz, rap, blues and rock, and her lyrics are very unique."I Wanna Get Married" is a lush, slow ballad that sounds like it comes from a different era than the one we are in. It is enchanting. Listening to it I find myself mesmerized. And mesmerized, I find myself singing along, agreeing with the lyrics of the song. (see lyrics below)
And just like that, it brainwashed me! The song, an ode to marriage, is meant to be completely sarcastic. If you listen to any of Nellie McKay's other songs, you know that the last thing she is interested in is being housewife.
And me, independent, educated me, should have laughed at the song, instead of being mesmerized by it.
That being said, why is the classic marriage model at times so intoxicating? We've been taught, as modern women, to find it antiquated and limiting, and yet, listening to this song, it really didn't sound so bad... in fact, it was a life I could easily envision for myself. Nonetheless, part of me felt really guilty for even contemplating wanting the kind of life the song describes. I want to have a career, I want to have the kind of life our feminist predecessors fought for - one where I am an equal to my husband, rather than his domestic servant.
When we have every opportunity to evolve, why are our fantasy marriages at times stuck in the 1950's? Is it possible that aspects of the old marriage model are better than the new one, where we are expected to work work work while raising the kids and building a home?
"I Wanna Get Married" by Nellie McKay
I wanna get married
Yes, I need a spouse
I want a nice
Leave it to Beaverish
Golden retriever and a little white house
I wanna get married
I need to cook meals
I wanna pack you cute little lunches
I wanna pack you cute little lunches
For my Brady bunches
Then read Danielle Steele
I wanna escape
This rat race I've created
I'm feelin' enervated
I don't care if I make it
I just want to bake a sugar cake for you
To take to work in the morn
And I'll stay home cleaning the dishes
And keeping your wishes all warm
I wanna get married
I wanna get married
That's why I was born
I wanna partake in bake sales for the classroom
I wanna hear the sweet tune
Of Sally's little vroom-vroom
As she zooms around my broom
As I exhume the gloom
Of my shallow life
I wanna be simple and honest and dimpled 'cause I am your wife
I will never tarry
I'm not even torn
I wanna get married
That's why I was born
4 comments:
I don't know about those lyrics..I don't think that's the life for me.. part of it sounds nice.. but i need more independence. Maybe I'm taking your post too seriously.
I think the most attractive element of the world the song describes is the simplicity of the life style. In the classic marriage model the woman is ensured a loving husband and a loving family, and all she has to do is take care of them - a beautiful thing!
It's important to realize that unfortunately, in the real world, this fantasy can never be realized. Marriage life is so much more complicated, nothing is as safe as the song proposes, and to me, that makes it all the more exciting - but surely less of a fantastical priority.
It's easy to slip into fantasy mode-it's even healthy too, just don't let your vision of reality get tainted by it.
I want to be the housewife...this is what I yearn for...i will willingly throw my law career out the door to have the world the song describes...and I am NOT ashamed to say so.
to #2
after reading your post, I read over the lyrics again and this line just jumped out at me:
"I wanna be simple and honest and dimpled 'cause I am your wife"
that sounds SO nice
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