Last week, on Valentine's day, I got one of the best texts ever from my best friend. It read, "I'm engaged!"
And just like that began the whirlwind of emotions that have since overcome me. On one hand, I am so incredibly happy for my best friend. She has found her life partner. We've been waiting for this since we were little fifth graders prank calling our crushes.
On the other hand, I can't help but acknowledge the overwhelming anxiety that has begun to visit me every time another engagement is announced since.
And trust me, this anxiety is a frequent caller, as I've learned of two other engagements in the last week alone.
Yes ladies, marriage season is in full swing, and I feel like I'm wearing a down coat in the dead of summer: In other words, I couldn't be more out of season.
Although I'm in a great relationship, I know (and have received confirmation) that marriage is nowhere on the horizon. The truth of the matter is that I'm ok with that, for now, because I'm not really ready for marriage myself. The question is, why then the anxiety?
Why then the sudden panic each time another engagement is announced?
6 comments:
Wedding season it is! I am begining to freak out a bit too. I think it has to do with the pressure surrounding us...needing to be married by a certain age, ect. Anyway, just be true to yourself and never settle! If marriage is what your looking for then maybe the person you're with is not for you. But if you are not ready for marriage and willing to wait then he very well may be Mr. Right! Hope it helps! (Thanks for bringing the blog back on!)
(hopefully this doesn't sound too judgy)
if you are truly happy with the man you're with, a ring on your finger and a big party is not what's important. If you feel that your boyfriend is truly committed to you, (and you want to be with him), then give him the time he needs to be ready for the ring. like our mothers always said, "if everyone jumped of a bridge would you?"
your lucky to even be in a loving relationship.
enjoy it.
before you make any decisions regarding your relationship, you need to map out your priorities.
on the one hand you have a loving boyfriend, happy relationship, the security and comfort of having him etc...
on the other, you have marriage and kids (I know how we salivate at that idea) but what of the husband?
this blog goes to show how MUCH you value the right many, the happy relationship. that is your priority, make sure you sustain that, and it seems like you already have it! are you willing to sacrifice that for a married life and some kids?
its a tough position. you think to yourself: yes, i'm happy, i can wait, but in five years... who will marry me?
If one of us had the answer to this dillema blogs like these would not be in existence, but unfortunately we live in a world where this intersection between the happy relationship and timely marriage is somewhere in a distant land far far away... so unattainable yet SO necessary.
I'm just ranting at this point, and although I could not give you a straightaway answer to your situation I hope I can give some comfort with my understanding of what you're going through.
I think if that Mr. Right -- the marriable Mr. Right -- was accessible to you now, you would not be with Mr. Relationship sans Marriage and you would be with him.
You'll know him when you see him.
I agree with some of the other comments. If you're with someone you love then cherish that, because that is hard to come by. I think that regardless of what society tells you about time and what you want to believe is the "right thing," that everything always falls into place, when it's meant to.
I was with a man that i loved, but I left our relationship because I didn't feel he was "marriage material". Five years later I've been through two other relationships and have never loved anyone like I loved him. He told me to be patient with him and wait, but I didn't, and now, the guy I thought wasn't marriage material and would not ever be married is married and about to have his first child.
There's something to be said about not being quick to judge or act, especially when you're happy where you're at.
Sexyjelly, the best answer to this question is the advice you always give me, your BF peanut: TIME WILL TELL... yes time will surely tell. In time you will discover if your current boyfriend is your life partner or not. And in the meantime enjoy the process as long as you are never at any point staying in the relationship because you'd rather stay than leave.
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