Thursday, September 2, 2010

Bullshit Your Boyfriend Says

"I think we should get a pitbull. They like to eat babies."

We've all been there at some point. You're having a perfectly lovely evening with your significant other when all of a sudden, he starts saying random, completely nonsensical bullshit. At first, you wonder, what the eff am I doing with this psycho? You cry, you fight, and then finally one day much later, you figure it out:

He bullshits when he is scared.

Ladies, welcome to the subspecies of the English language: Bullshit.

Whether it is coming from your boyfriend, a friend, a parent, sibling or co-worker, there are times when the person across from you loses sight of the old adage, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

Luckily, if you can stay calm, you can develop a bullshit decoder.

"I like pitbulls. They like to eat babies" translates to "I'm really not ready to start a family and when you talk about babies it freaks me out."

Bullshit decoders must be developed, and sadly cannot be bought. So, when bullshit rears its ugly head, take a breathe, wait, and be compassionate. Somewhere beneath the bullshit there is emotion that needs tending to.

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