Tuesday, December 16, 2008

It's Harry's Fault After All

A while back, Peanut posted about the purpose of guy friends, see http://lanomanland.blogspot.com/2008/06/purpose-of-guy-friends.html, citing When Harry Met Sally, a movie we often debate about.

Well, it turns out, we debate over that seminal romantic comedy for good reason: romantic comedies are partly to blame for women's unrealistic expectations when it comes to love and relationships. That's right ladies: Rom-Coms are ruining your love life.

Rather than trying to achieve some lonely screenwriter's ideal, get to know yourself and find someone who fulfills your most fundamental needs. The relationship that ensues may be far from perfect, but it will be real, and more than that it will be yours. Yours to improve upon, grow through, and enjoy. If you merely co-opt Hollywood's portrayal of perfect, you'll just end up alone, disillusioned and most importantly, unfulfilled.


No Man Land Rule: Leave the Hollywood ideal for Bennifer and Brangelina: craft your own fantasy relationship
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Rom-coms 'spoil your love life'

For the full article, click here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7784366.stm.

Watching romantic comedies can spoil your love life, a study by a university in Edinburgh has claimed.

Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love.
They found fans of films such as Runaway Bride and Notting Hill often fail to communicate with their partner.
Many held the view if someone is meant to be with you, then they should know what you want without you telling them.

Psychologists at the family and personal relationships laboratory at the university studied 40 top box office hits between 1995 and 2005, and identified common themes which they believed were unrealistic.

The movies included You've Got Mail, Maid In Manhattan, The Wedding Planner and While You Were Sleeping.
The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counsellors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds. The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realise."

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