Elizabeth Gilbert writes, in her non-fiction novel Eat, Pray, Love (which I high recommend), " I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."
There is a saying that behind every man there is a great woman. Is it wishful thinking to believe that your man will reach his highest potential? Isn't that what woman are there for? To support their family and husband into reaching their potentials in life? Not just men, but even friend to friend (girlfriend to girlfriend)...
How can you distinguish your voice of reality from wishful thinking? How can you tell what is reachable and what just isn't going to happen?
2 comments:
First off, welcome back Entrepeanutbutter... I've missed you! Here's my analysis: of course, we hope for and try to see the best in all people - whether it be a friend, a boyfriend, a family member, etc. However, as much as I believe people are capable of shifting, and growing, and evolving, that is very different than expecting someone to change into a new person. True change is sometimes possible, but it must come from that person, of their own volition, and not from you trying to change them. The best we can do is support a person in their growth, and hope for the best. That being said, be honest with yourself about who you are dating - if you see a lot of qualities that are not to your liking - either learn to accept them, or make the very difficult decision to move on. Allow yourself the chance to be with someone that doesn't require you to give anything important up - you deserve that.
great post! It really got me thinking about my relationships... friends, men etc...
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